White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

Here we come to the end of summer. Work and school loom their heads within our view, although I won't call them ugly. I look back over the past idyllic months and just love my family more and more as I sit and review our time together in leisure. Jack and Julia continue to grow into the beautiful people they are, and every day God uses them to teach me humility, patience, and a host of other desirable character traits. I pray that He uses me to teach them how to live in love and kindness. I've been fortunate enough to relive the summers of my youth through them; right as I'm in the middle of hard work, moving wood, clearing brush, or any of a number of other things, they run by laughing and singing and I remember what that's like. It also blesses my heart to feel a resonation within me as well, meaning that not all of that whimsy is gone or dead within me, either. I'm blessed with a partner who is in many ways much stronger than I am, and we support each other through the myriad changes and adjustments that life continues to bring. It's amazing that in the midst of all this, we get to enjoy seeing our children grow as well.

Click HERE for a YouTube video of our exploits.

I've spent it in good company.

Today is a special day. For one thing, it's a snow day, which means that I've gotten to play with the kids today, read, relax, and generally catch up on whatever it is one does when one isn't working. Another reason today is special is because we received the paperwork giving us ownership of this house in the mail today.

And so another few dozen pounds of pressure are lifted from my chest. Life is absolutely a cycle of hills and valleys, and the valleys usually only end when you roll the stone all the way back up the mountain. It feels like we've finally got the stone up there, and are able to enjoy the view to some degree. I am able to sit down and look through the photos of the past few months and relive some of the wonderful things that have happened. We've seen family and strengthened the ties that bind. Seeing those you love is such a beautiful thing, and seeing as many as we did was truly a blessing. We've celebrated the holidays, gone back to school, and grown into our home here.

Our children, as always, are the centerpieces of our interest. To quote Bill Murray from 'Lost in Translation', 

Bob: It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids.

Charlotte: It's scary.

Bob: The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born.

Charlotte: Nobody ever tells you that.

Bob: Your life, as you know it... is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk... and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.

And that's how it feels nowadays. Jack is such a funny guy. He's constantly coming up with jokes and sharing them with me. Yesterday he put his coat on while it was still on the hook and then kept pretending to try to run, saying, "Why can't I move? What's wrong?" and the whole time he was stuck on the hook. He was cracking himself up. He reads all the time, creates games, and reacts genuinely and emotionally to people. I adore him.

And Julia continues to be a can of Chelsea concentrate. She's just like her mom--beautiful, funny, caring, sweet, and kind--but it's all in this tiny little package that doesn't have to worry about bill payments or renovation or an annoying husband yet. She's just a wonderful little girl. Today was the first day she felt better after a 4-day fever and she just couldn't stop walking around hugging and kissing everyone in the family and telling us that she loved us. Her joy at health expressed itself as affection to others.

Chelsea and I have no regrets; a family is a cup that runs over. I've included some pictures below that you're welcome to peruse. I've also made a video with some music for you to enjoy. Here's to our loved ones.

Click HERE for the YouTube video.

Click HERE for the Vimeo version.

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.

Well, here we are. Exhausted and happy. Busy and confused. In other words, newly arrived in our home. It's hard to believe that we've been here--what? A month? Time has lost all meaning as our lives rocket on. Chelsea and I both agree, we'd be awfully despondent and worn-out if we weren't so darn happy about everything. So now we're just worn-out.
Virginia is beautiful. Not perfect, certainly. Plenty of weird culture-shock going on, figuring out the norms and dialect, getting used to a different way of talkin' and a different way of life (highlight of today: "Yeah, he works down at the far [fire] department"). But holy God is it beautiful, and I mean that. Inside and out, in the house or in the fields, this place seems to have a special golden air lingering over it, something I thought only existed in Homeric verse.
The kids have taken to it rather well. Their biggest thrill is just having room; room to run, to jump, to play, to get scraped up and dirty, to chase. They've caught lizards, spiders, and kittens. They've ridden horses and corralled chickens. There is no more seventy-degree slope to their yard. It's grass, fences, horses, and trees. Julia has become one with the country; she cares for anything that comes near her, as you'll see in the video. Jack is happy; he's adjusting to the rigors of a full day at school (he falls asleep on the 20-minute ride home about four days of the week). Some days he gets in trouble just for being all-boy; rowdy, talkative, busy. But most days he's glad to talk about what he's learned and loves coming home for a snack and play time. Of course, I have to constantly switch up what's playing in the car for our daily drives; lately he's been loving Pavarotti but today he heard Good Vibrations and I think he may be a convert.
Chelsea and I are running full-speed downhill and praying for easement of burdens but even that is done with peace, since we are so grateful for this new place and how our lives are starting to smoothen out. It's been an insane year but insanity can be fun. Below you'll find links to the same video, depending on your preference of Web site. Wanted to let you see how the little people are doing. Our love to everyone.

Click here for the YouTube video

Click here for the Vimeo video

Clear and sweet is my soul, and clear and sweet is all that is not my soul.

I'm sitting in the basement with my shirt off, Blue Cheer's cover of "Summertime Blues" thumping through my head, trying to reckon how long I can delay getting ready to take Jack to his last Little League game of the season, and suddenly realizing how desperately I need to slow down sometimes. Summer is that sometimes. The quote for the title of this posting is from Whitman's Song of Myself, and it's helped me get in the right frame of mind as Chelsea and I hurdle our way through house-hunting, selling, packing, et cetera. 

I feel thankful that these moments of lassitude and clarity come at times because they enable me to love and appreciate what I have, namely, my two beautiful children. I love them more every day. Jack knows the whole alphabet and is counting and using ordinal numbers up to 20. Julia has a whole menagerie of stuffed friends that she regularly parades, pays court to, and medicates, not to mention the toad she has adopted that, no joke, has shown up on our back porch three times so far to visit her. My children read and play and joke and laugh and learn and make me want to do all the same things as well. Surely children are evidence of a loving God.

I hope you enjoy the pictures below, as we've enjoyed living them.

Lounging in the window of what may be our new house.

Julia only wilts if she doesn't get enough sugar.

Childhood memories of "NERD GIRL!" echo through my head.

Jack told me that when he grows up, he wants me to become a construction worker and he'll become Joaquin, the hero soldier from his favorite movie, "The Book of Life."

This isn't acting. She was this excited from the moment we bought corn at the store until we handed it to her.

Our last Friday at All-Pro Dads, a faith-based parenting meeting we attended throughout the year. 

Our little dryad.

Jack's end-of-year picnic.

Going to see "Cinderella" at the drive-in.

 Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John.

This is one of many pictures we have of Julia resting with her head on a pet.

We did take a serious picture of them, but this one was better.

How could I not include this guy? He's practically a third kid. 

Jack is as graceful a sleeper as his mother. 

Friends.

Mother, You Had Me

How time flies. The last time I finished an entry, life seemed stable and we were heading toward winter break. Here I am with the next, and we're cleaning the house to put it on the market tomorrow and thinking about which house we liked most in Virginia this past weekend. I've quite trying to be on top of things, it's enough to keep up for now.

Mother's Day has come and gone as well, and I'm still in awe of how much Chelsea surpasses any expectations I could ever have had for the mother of our children. I could never have imagined. Jack and Julia don't know how good they have it. I'm so thankful for her.

And at the same time I think of the original Mom Fehskens, Janet. Distance has failed in keeping us apart in word, thought, and spirit. I love her so much, and made a video, in which Jack, Julia, and Chelsea were also willing participants, and sent it to her for that special day. I don't have FB anymore so I couldn't share it that way, but maybe you'll get a smile out of seeing it here. See you soon.

Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.

I'm sitting here on an extremely chilly night, thinking about my family, my God, and my music, and as usual these things fill me with deep and lasting joy (they are also the three things I most often think about, so that's good). The children are sleeping upstairs, getting over colds. Chelsea is in the next room, working (SHOCKER!). I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that she's making something cute and useful that will brighten a day somewhere.
It becomes easier and easier to give to my children. It seems that a little more of the selfishness of my youth is eroded daily as I see their wants and needs and try to be a good father and give them a little bit of both. At least, that's my hope. Jack struggles with some health problems--his stamina with colds, coughs, and other respiratory ailments has always wavered somewhere in the Bobby Darin sphere--but he still seems to enjoy the majority of every day, not letting it get him down, playing whenever he can and loving his mama and papa. I'm storing up for when he's a teenager, because if he's anything like me, by then he'll be a total jerk.
And Julia...what to say? I don't know what I'm doing as far as raising a daughter goes, but man is it fun anyway. She's smart enough that it makes me nervous and unsure I'll be able to keep up. She's funny enough that I get her in trouble because I'm laughing too hard when she misbehaves. And she's girly enough so that I feel like absolutely nothing I learned the first time around with Jack is applicable.
Chelsea continues to outshine me. I do my best, but she nonchalantly leaves me behind in all areas of care, thoughtfulness, and forward thinking. If I were a polytheist, I would have no doubt that she was in some way an avatar of Gaea--strong, loving, caring, generous, and the bedrock upon which this family stands.

Enjoy some videos and pics below, and if you have kids, hug them.

YouTube video here.

Vimeo video here.

Abby. Jack says hi, hugs, and kisses her every single time we visit the store.

Chelsea went to get a tape measure to see how long the table was. When she came back Jack was doing this and said, "Mom, it's THIS long!" 

She looks like she's on the cover of an 80's Meg Ryan VHS. 

The definition of smugness.

Doc actually fell asleep like this. Notice the paws. Buddies.

Dude's got a camera smile down.

Ell-pant!

She was asking to ride a horsey for two weeks before and after this moment.

Windswept!

Some days are fun girl days when boys are gone.

Cutie.

She can tell you all about each bunny she has. This one was just recently dressed.

I'd work like this too if I could.

Circus time!

He even got a special toy.

I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!

We're on our way, Nono... 

I'm In A Boat

Two of us, writing letters...

The hills are alive!

I kind of wish he'd been wearing an orange sweater. 

Good molars!

One of many costumes around the house.

Check out that smirk!

Serve me up an order of hot piping Chelsea!

My favorite pic, actually, except for Matt hitting on my wife.

He made it to the wagon!